From: Alebrelle Kuatu
Sent: 2015.04.30 23:10
To: WDS Delivery Receipts, Amg552,
First of all, from every one of us at WiNGSPAN Delivery Services to you; Thank you so very much for your large order. It keeps our children fed, and it keeps the delivery vehicles on the road.
Why, our very own Black Aivo's loving wife of 13 years had just been diagnosed with Space Cancer™ just this past week, and during this period of mourning we were uncertain about the future. With your gloriously large order of our hand-crafted artisanal munitions we have all agreed to donate to his family of 5 (He, his wife, and their 3 Guinea Pig children) the entire profit of this order!
Chance Ravinne, known for his shrewd Scrooge-like tendencies was hard to convince of this generousity, but some "creative bookeeping" does show our costs as a bit higher than they actually are... So what he sees as "at cost" actually has a healthy margin built in, and so we were able to convince him by still giving him a cut. He's a shrewd taskmaster who we all fear the retribution of. There was this guy once... Really, it's not fit for out of corp discussion. I'm shocked you would have asked.
Honestly, again, from the cackles of our hearts. Your generosity is mind shattering. Could you be our new CEO? He's so very mean, and someone such as yourself would surely treat us with so much more care, compassion, and love. Our bunks have exposed nails, and I sleep with but a threadbare blanket to keep me warm when our single lump of coal has burned out for the night. 19 of the delivery crew have developed spinal problems in the past few months. Morale is low. Send help. CONCORD save us. Be our savior.
Attached, according to our strict delivery receipt protocol is your delivery order:
Kill: Amg552 (Kronos)
I'd like to personally welcome you to the WiNGSPAN family of customers.
Operations Director, Delivery Agent, Endentured Servant
WiNGSPAN Delivery Services
"We're not happy until you're content!"