A Close One

Dear Chance Ravinne,
Your videos have inspired me to take up the art of "Torpedo Delivery". I recently stumbled into a wormhole containing a Gila completing chores. 
I had no clue what was in store for me when I attempted to hand deliver this kind sir his order of torpedos.

To keep a short story short, I got out with 16% hull and a now soiled pair of underwear. I then watched your recorded attempt at delivering to a Gila, "Click on my Gila". 
There is no moral or reason to this story, I just wanted to share an experience with the great Chance Ravinne himself.

Sincerely,
Send Iskies

Well Played

Re: Roadside Assistance and Delivery Confirmation
From: Arina Jais
Sent: 2015.01.12 21:48
To: Vothor,  

That's actually a very amusing mail, well played sir.

--------------------------------
Roadside Assistance and Delivery Confirmation
From: Vothor
Sent: 2015.01.12 21:44
To: Arina Jais,  

Dearest Arina Jais,

It is with great concern that I am writing to you concerning your latest Roadside assistance jump of your Kill: Arina Jais (Epithal) Myself and a fellow delivery agent were on route to deliver our Scourge Rage Torpedo and Caldari navy Nova Torpedo to an associate of yours "The Teacher" who ordered several orders, when we noticed you were hung up unceremoniously upon the Custom's office station.

Being upstanding members that we are we figured we should stop by and Jump start your Tripple Stabbed Epithal with our Warp Scrambler II's With this success we noticed that the Order request had an alternative deliver location,  Kill: Arina Jais (Capsule) Much to our delight we were able to successfully deliver our requested order directly to your Hull.

*Please note, WiNGSPAN Delivery Services are not liable for damages done once delivery is complete.*

Should you require further assistance, feel free to reply to me Vothor, Your roadside Delivery Agent. 

Should you require Delivery Subscription cancellations, feel free to request it in writing to our Illustrious CEO Chance Ravinne, he will elaborate as to further directions to cancel further deliveries to your Home system.

Patiently yours,
Vothor
Delivery Agent

Double Dipping

Re: Torpedo Delivery Confirmation
From: raahman
Sent: 2015.01.12 20:14
To: Itonula 'Wilde-Moehre' Aivoras,  

Lol very good  8))
Oh and remove your cspa charge. 
Loosing a ship and cspa charge!!! come on.

 


--------------------------------
Torpedo Delivery Confirmation
From: Itonula 'Wilde-Moehre' Aivoras
Sent: 2015.01.12 20:11
To: raahman,  

Dear Mr. raahman, 

We at Wingspan Delivery services pride ourselves in the fastest delivery of Torpedoes. So it goes without saying it is with the utmost pleaure I was able to provide you with 16x Caldari Navy Nova Torpedo to your work address @ Kill: raahman (Anathema).

Also, at Wingspan Delivery Services we know you have a choice when it comes to torpedo delivery's and greatly appreciate your patronage. Since all of our delivery's are set for auto-renewal, should you desire to cancel any future deliveriy's you will need to contact our CEO, Chance Ravinne.

I would also like to remind you that tampering with Ancient Relic sites is not recommended as we want to preserve this ancient knowledge as much as possible and will protect it to the best of our abilities.

 
Thanks,
Itonula 'Wilde-Moehre' Aivoras 
Delivery Agent, Wingspan Delivery services
www.torpedodelivery.com

Not Enough Torpedoes

Torpedo Delivery
From: jj gunsIinger
Sent: 2015.01.11 07:21
To: Chance Ravinne,  ShadowX148,  

I just wanted to let you know i was not pleased with the delivery i had requested, they were not totally delivered i thought i would get better service from the well known  WiNGSPAN Delivery Services it does hurt my feelings to know i am not a priority for a successfull delivery and i hope you try harder in the future or i will no longer be a returning customer. so instead of my  Caldari Navy Inferno Torpedo all i get stuck with is this  Kill: Gijs Koster (Nemesis)  Kill: Gijs Koster (Capsule) have a nice day Gunslinger

The Search For More Ducks

Re: CARGO INSPECTION RECIEPT
From: Mikhail Klashnikov
Sent: 2015.01.11 03:05
To: Saria Dehmov,  

Dear Saria Dehmov,

I appreciate the time it took you to inform me of your delicate situation. Alas, we have not seen any of what you describe, these so called "space ducks". Your master Chance Ravinne, has my utmost condolences on the loss of his prized pocession.

In our efforts to serve our glorious aims, our glorious forces came across your valued Myrm. It is unfortunate that this vessel was, as you claim, a delivery vessel, However the battle that came was glorious, and our purposes filled, even in our defeat.

I appreciate that you have taken the time to inspect my, and many of my Corpmates' cargo, consider it a gift, given in goodwill. The wine, is not improper, but excellent, and the tourists you may slaughter, for in the end, they matter little to us. As you continue your search, expect our glorious forces to provided assistance in your delivery services and searches in the future.

Yours in respect,


Mikhail Klashnikov,
Commander of the Brothers of Tyr,
Glorious Leader of the Ordo Mortis

--------------------------------
CARGO INSPECTION RECIEPT
From: Saria Dehmov
Sent: 2015.01.10 07:26
To: Mikhail Klashnikov,  

Dear 

Mikhail Klashnikov 

In our ever ending quest to provide competent delivery services, we are sometimes tasked with a unique situation that we must endeavour to rectify.  Our beloved master Chance Ravinne [ALL HOLYNESS TO HIS NAME] has tasked us with finding one of his most prized possessions. 

His majestic space duck has gone missing. Without it our master will be lost and without comfort.

Why on earth you decided to shoot a glorious delivery vessel known as the Mrym we will never know. We inspected your cargo today as you can see below. 


This is the second vexor navy issue this week guys!!! Unfortunately your duck was of improper color and well…. breed. Too tall and not enough feathers. It was also covered in some kind of fluid which is well…  to say the least…  improper.

Kill: Mikhail Klashnikov (Hawk) 

Have you seen our real duck or know of anyone else who has? We will continue carefully combing the area until it has been found. Species identification information can be found below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLLDXXfKkpA

Saria Dehmov
WingSpan Delivery Services
www.torpedodelivery.com

Something Something DPS

Re: Welcome to the Family.
From: enigma marine
Sent: 2015.01.05 11:47
To: Paddy McDaddy,  

Not only did i just buy that ship, but i made a stupid and tried to burn out of the bubble instead of just crashing gate. also it had links+strong exile and was repping for ~2300dps

gf

--------------------------------
Welcome to the Family.
From: Paddy McDaddy
Sent: 2015.01.04 20:40
To: enigma marine,  

Dear enigma marine.

We here in WiNGSPAN Delivery Services pride ourselves on the professionalism we are getting known for in new eden.

You, good sir, can pride youself in being one of the newest recipients of our fine torpedo delivery service. 
We decided to come all the way out to FD-MLJ to make a free delivery of assorted caldari navy torpedos to your work adress, enigma marine (Deimos), and hope you remember us, when you need torpedos in the future. 

Keep in mind we also deliver Party drones for every occasion.

So, from all of us here at WiNGSPAN Delivery Services, we wish you all the best in your future indeavours.


With great pride, Paddy McDaddy 
WiNGSPAN Delivery Services 


P.S. any and all complaints are directed to WiNGSPANTT.org 

Found in Translation

Re: FW: Delivery Confirmation
From: Cyless Hustla
Sent: 2014.12.30 17:07
To: Au'Rel,  

 

 

This is the funniest mail i ever read ! So he FW and asked me to translate but i was unable to because of me rolling on floor :) GG on the kill 

 


--------------------------------
FW: Delivery Confirmation
From: Alf Life
Sent: 2014.12.30 17:01
To: Cyless Hustla,  

 

--------------------------------
Delivery Confirmation
From: Au'Rel
Sent: 2014.12.30 16:56
To: Alf Life,  


Dear Alf Life,

    I would like to thank you this morning for your recent order of Caldari Navy Inferno Torpedo's to your work address of  Kill: Alf Life (Augoror). During my route I noticed you making dangerous repairs you offlined POS, but you had no Torpedo's!!
Why? I'll never know. So I used my due dilligance, and being the Delivery Specialist I am I could not let this injustice go any longer. 

    This was quite the predicament but im glad it turned out for the better and you got your order! Here at WiNGSPAN Delivery Services we will always take your feelings into account while making deliverys. Because well, We're Not Happy Until Your Content. 

    For any questions about your gracious order or future orders please refer to Chance Ravinne (Hail!), CEO Wingspan Delivery Services

Yours Truly,
Au'Rel
Your Friendly Delivery Agent
WiNGSPAN Delivery Services

Why Spin Ships When You Can Watch YouTube?

[02:48:54] Tavuuk > Awesome, figured that without a mining party in here waiting for a torp delivery, I may as well see if someone wants to buy it :)
[02:49:04] Himnos Altar > wait
[02:49:08] Himnos Altar > are you that youtube guy?
[02:49:27] Tavuuk > Part of Wingspan, yes -- Chance is our CEO.
[02:49:41] Himnos Altar > nice. didn't realize it was a corp channel
[02:49:53] Himnos Altar > caught a few videos last week
[02:49:59] Himnos Altar > Talos and something else IIRC
[02:50:33] Tavuuk > He's been busy with some new ones, though I don't know if they're out publicly yet, but certainly in-corp we've seen 'em.
[02:50:52] Tavuuk > There's a tripwire vid that had a few tricks I didn't know about.
[02:50:57] Himnos Altar > well tell him good job. good production quality
[02:51:15] Tavuuk > Shall do!
[02:51:23] Himnos Altar > I enjoyed watching it

To a Corporation called "Torpedo Delivery Service"

Re: FROM ONE DELIVERY AGENT TO ANOTHER
From: Emmet Hakaari
Sent: 2014.12.28 16:56
To: Enki Parker,  

Thank you, colleagues!
The quality of your service inspires respect o7

Regards,
E.Hakaari
CEO Torpedo Delivery Service

--------------------------------
FROM ONE DELIVERY AGENT TO ANOTHER
От: Enki Parker
Отправлено: 2014.12.28 16:50
Кому: Emmet Hakaari,  

Dear Emmet Hakaari,

     It is with great pleasure that I, Enki Parker of WiNGSPAN Delivery Services, was able to assist you, the CEO of Torpedo Delivery Service with your very own set of Caldari Navy Scourge Torpedoes.  I can not express enough how joyful it is to help out with another torpedo delivery specialist.  People like us have got to stick together.  I may have missed you on our first encounter, but I caught you on the second one.  If at first you don't succeed, try try again. 


Kill: Emmet Hakaari (Noctis) 


Enki Parker
Delivery Agent
WiNGSPAN Delivery Services

"Spreading Joy and Happiness One Delivery at a Time"

I can't even...

Re: Delivery Confirmation
From: Rskuat Reynolds
Sent: 2014.12.28 02:15
To: Au'Rel,  

lol i cant even be mad at that
nice
regards,

RS
--------------------------------
Delivery Confirmation
From: Au'Rel
Sent: 2014.12.28 02:13
To: Rskuat Reynolds,  


Dear Rskuat Reynolds,

     It has been my pleasure serving as your delivery agent this evening! I launched unto your cargo bay Kill: Rskuat Reynolds (Cormorant) a shipment of Caldari Navy Inferno Torpedo. I could not help but notice you waiting for these munitions inside a W-Space entrance. Space is a dangerous place! And being the professional I am I could not let you venture forth without them!

     We here at WiNGSPAN Delivery Services take pride in being the agents you choose for all of your delivery needs! Being a first time customer your order was completely free! As will all other Torpedo or Drone Party orders! For any other questions or comments regarding your previous order or future ones please refer to our CEO, Chance Ravinne (So Say We All!), WiNGSPAN Delivery Services.

Sincerly,
Au'Rel
Your Friendly Universe Delivery Agent
WiNGSPAN Delivery Services

"Daddy's not coming home tonight, kids."

From: Saladiin
Sent: 2014.12.28 01:06
To: WDS Delivery Receipts, 

The unfortunate consequences of our delivery services :''(

--------------------------------
Data site violation
From: Chuckel Silvertongue
Sent: 2014.12.27 11:57
To: Saladiin,  Wolfe Vickery,  

I, on the other hand, am just a common thief. This just happened to be my first relic site as I had only that day learned how to hack. However, I have a wife, 4 children and a mortgage to pay and I can only say that now the young said children will now have to go without food.

Yours hungrily, Chuckel.

--------------------------------
Data Site violation, first warning(s)
From: Saladiin
Sent: 2014.12.27 00:23
To: Chuckel Silvertongue,  Wolfe Vickery,  

Ms. Silvertongue and Mr. Vickery,

As fate would have it, both of you, likely strangers, wandered into the same data site within minutes of each other. This site was under our monitoring systems. You both have violated one or more articles of  WiNGSPAN Delivery Services' Data and Relic Site Enforcement Division's policy of non-intrusion to these sites. Therefore,  Caldari Navy Scourge Torpedo were delivered to the following vessels:

Heron

Helios

Our program works to discourage capsuleers from raiding these historical sites in order to preserve them for future generations. Hopefully, both of you will explore other avenues of income besides pillaging from these heritage sites.

Very respectfully,

Saladiin
-Chief Enforcement Officer
 Data and Relic Site Enforcement Division (DRSED)

"Best Kill Mail Yet"

Re: Torpedo Delivery Confirmation
    From: Korran Gast
    Sent: 2014.12.26 14:19
    To: Banshee Legend
    
    Best kill mail yet.
    
    lol
    
    
    --------------------------------
    Torpedo Delivery Confirmation
    From: Banshee Legend
    Sent: 2014.12.26 14:13
    To: Korran Gast,
    
    Dear Korran,
    
    I would like to thank you for your order of 7x Caldari Navy Nova Torpedoes to your work Kill: Korran Gast (Magnate) and 3x to your home Kill: Korran Gast (Capsule) address.
    
    Here, at WiNGSPAN Delivery Services we STRIVE to get your ammunition wherever you may be, wormhole, low, or null security space.
    
    I am looking forward to delivering to you again.
    
    Thank you again for your order and have a happy holiday season.
    
    Humbly yours, 
    Banshee Legend
    Delivery Agent / Assistant Recruitment Officer
    WiNGSPAN Delivery Services 

Thanks and Happy New Year

Aw: Delivery receipt/ Suspicious activity notice
From: manka catwalker
Sent: 2014.12.26 09:06
To: Saladiin,  

Dear beloved Saladiin,

thx for your concernes. It's quite an honor for me.

Greetings and a happy new year
manka

--------------------------------
Delivery receipt/ Suspicious activity notice
Von: Saladiin
Gesendet: 2014.12.26 08:42
An: manka catwalker,  

Dear Mr. Catwalker,

While in the performance of my duties and providing you with a delivery of  Caldari Navy Scourge Torpedo  to your Iteron Mark V, I reviewed the contents of your cargo. Needless to say, I quickly became concerned.

Along with several hundreds of units of Fertilizer  and  Bacteria , your ship was also in possession of  Test Cultures , all of which could potentially be used to create and launch devastating biological Weapons of Mass Destruction attacks against both the Empires as well as capsuleers alike.

WiNGSPAN Delivery Services will therefore be providing CONCORD a copy of your ship's cargo manifesto so that  they can delve further into this manner. I HIGHLY recommend you do not attempt to evade the authorities should they come to question you further.

Respectfully,

Saladiin
Delivery agent/ concerned citizen

Respect from a Fellow Torpedo Deliveryman, via Reddit

Just got a bomb delivery from one of your friends. I was cloaked on grid in a manticore using a retriever as bait. One of the best 1v1 stealth bomber fights I've had in a while. Thank you guys for bringing the good fight it was great.

Also you may want to let him know that his buzzard should probably evacuate, one of our corpies managed to land combat probes on his safe before he logged out.

https://zkillboard.com/kill/43347597/

Your friend dropped a bomb, I decloaked and pointed him. got him pounded down into structure and he slingshotted me away. It was a slow clap moment. You guys are awesome.

 

In The Wild

[20:38:15] Alcide Snow  Banshee Legend o7
[20:38:22] Banshee Legend  Alcide Snow hi
[20:38:35] Banshee Legend > what's good?
[20:39:07] Alcide Snow > just hanging out, i'm not intrested in yours delivery services ;)
[20:39:21] Alcide Snow > pretty nice youtube movies btw
[20:40:22] Banshee Legend > those videos are made by our CEO, Chance Ravinne
[20:40:39] Banshee Legend > we are just humble delivery agents
[20:40:54] Alcide Snow > those videoswas the reason i come back to eve, so thx
[20:41:11] Banshee Legend  so anyway,  Alcide Snow do you want us to deliver to a friend? or do you want to join us?
[20:41:47] Alcide Snow > naah, i'm lone wolf type of player ;)
[20:41:55] Banshee Legend > that's what we mostly do
[20:42:03] Banshee Legend > find a wh, sit in it, kill people
[20:42:25] Alcide Snow > well, i will think about it
[20:42:43] Banshee Legend > if you need any info, hop on to www.torpedodelivery.com/careers
[20:42:59] Banshee Legend > or write me an evemail, i am the Assistant Recruitment Manager :)
[20:43:35] Alcide Snow > will do, and send my gratitude to your CEO
[20:44:11] Alcide Snow > fly safe
[20:44:50] Banshee Legend > already done!
[20:44:56] Banshee Legend > fly reckless o7

Another Satisfied Customer... Sort Of

Re: Torpedo Delivery Confirmation
From: Androcles Democritus
Sent: 2014.12.22 21:07
To: Slevin Hekard,  

I want to complay for the rudeness of your delivery boy
for that reason i wont give a tip
but all in all thanks for the quick delivery
--------------------------------
Torpedo Delivery Confirmation
From: Slevin Hekard
Sent: 2014.12.22 21:04
To: Androcles Democritus,  

Dear Mr. Democritus

Thank you for your recent order of (6)x Caldari Navy Nova Torpedoes 

Kill: Androcles Democritus (Venture) 

Additionally please consider not huffing the gas. You can lose brain cells that way!

Sincerely,
Slevin Hekard
WiNGSPAN Delivery Services

Coming back to EVE

Hello Sir,

I recently ran across your YouTube videos while contemplating my return to Eve and I would like to thank you for making such entertaining content for the rest of us to digest. You have also greatly increased my interest in flying a bomber and the fun that can be had in these tiny paper cannons. Needless to say that I have returned to explore New Eden in part because of you.
Anyways, keep posting great videos and fly safe.

o7,
Teller Mernher